Sad (but true) differences of the sexes!

I don’ t often publish those sort of internet letters that you’re supposed to forward on and so on, I hate that chain mail mentality, but every now and then, my mate who sends me them has a little gems like this one (most of them are dull or even vaguely racist and I bin those straight away… however this one I liked… see any of yourself here, ladies and gents?)

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

  • Take off clothes and place them in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
  • Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
  • If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
  • Look at your womanly physique in the mirror – make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.
  • Get in the shower.
  • Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
  • Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
  • Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean.
  • Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
  • Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red.
  • Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
  • Rinse conditioner off hair.
  • Shave armpits and legs.
  • Turn off shower.
  • Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
  • Spray mould spots with Tile Cleaner.
  • Get out of shower.
  • Dry with towel the size of a small country.
  • Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
  • Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
  • If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

  • Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
  • Walk naked to the bathroom.
  • If you see partner along the way, shake your winkie at her making the ‘woo-woo’ sound.
  • Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
  • Look at the size of your “winkie” and scratch your bum.
  • Get in the shower.
  • Wash your face.
  • Wash your armpits.
  • Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
  • Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
  • Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
  • Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
  • Wash your hair.
  • Make a Shampoo Mohican.
  • Wee.
  • Rinse off and get out of shower.
  • Partially dry off.
  • Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
  • Admire or cringe at your winkie’s size in mirror again.
  • Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
  • Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
  • If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake your winkie at her and make the ‘woo-woo’ sound again.
  • Throw wet towel on bed.

Now that’s something I’m sure many of us can relate to: I’m hoping that you will also relate to the next few updates I’m about to show you below, taken from NorthernSpanking.com – they have been remarkably busy with some outstanding new films recently, featuring great storylines, amazing spanking actresses like the talented Zille Defeu (who I have to say I’m falling for in a BIG way) but there is so much more here as you’ll see below, some stuff here they’ve kept… like a fine wine, and only now have released it, like the amazing pairing of Niki Flynn, who I also once had the “pleasure” chastising several years back for another network I rarely mention nowadays (pity… as their older stuff really wasn’t too bad but “re-edit” and “rehash after rehash” is tiresome to say the least…)  so as I was saying the pairing of Niki with Pandora Blake together worked really well… unlike the “chalk and cheese” approach to showering by men and women 🙂

The full length movie (all parts) starring Niki & Pandora is now available:

If these images have grabbed your attention, imagine the long play movie and umpteen galleries with equally alluring images like these available for members, I have to say thsi was one of the hottest spanking punishment films I’d seen pandora and Niki in and they looked perfect for each other, a great pairing! You can of course view MORE HERE

As I said, seeing Zille Defeau with the added bonus of spanking and being spanked by (teen) Bailey Sullivan in their “What happens in Vegas…” movie takes a twisted turn (as I had hoped) when mobster Marcus Black has had enough of humiliating the girls and decides to punish them himself (who wouldn’t?) and so cue the scenes for the movie to take a dark turn with heavy strapping and caning scenes to make the girls pay for their casino losses! (This is a rather good movie, I might add!)

Northern Spanking

In the following images and free clip I have for you (below) you will see a stunning girl called Sophie who I have not seen anywhere else and it appears she is excluisve to GirlsSpankedhard.com – I wasn’t always a fan of this site at the beginning but as the girls have become far more beautiful and, in many cases excluisve like Sophie… it’s impossible NOT to like this site and some of the punishments carried out are watchable again and again… trust me, I should know… can you wear out .wmv files? (LOL)

As you’ll have seen from this amazing short free movie clip, Sophie’s beauty and reactions make her extremely addictive viewing! I have seen all her many films at this site and can DEFINITELY recommend it, this girl is so SO HOT!

Another girl who can take a severe punishment (& it so happens this is another paddling) is Lila – found mainly at RealSpankings.com – this is one of Lila’s earliest appearances when she had very long hair (you’ll know that currently her hair is cropped and has a blue dyed tuft in it) – It’s kind of cute to see her with this long hair, looking captivating in her cheer girl outfit getting a nasty punishment at the hands (& paddle) of Mr M. in this detention punishment!

Images below are screen grabs with a special free clip taken from the movie

You can see more of similar punishments like Lila’s HERE!

Finally, another old classic thanks to Clare Fonda’s excellent site Spankedcallgirls.com – & as I rummaged through the archives I came across this beautiful pair of clare’s girls… Kacy and red haired Vixen… OMG! Momma Clare is a mean bitch who makes redhead Vixen spank and punish Kacy as she is displeased with them both… however, when Clare is out of the room, Vixen feels sorry for her friend and they make out (deliciously… I love girl on girl playfun!) but alert Vixen hears Clare coming back and they quickly assume the OTK spanking psoition and as you’ll see from the images and free clip… it’s a fun but very naughty movie that is a joy to show you hidden away deep in the archives of SpankedCallgirls.com – Enjoy!

Full movies and lots of slutty girl/girl spankings and naughtiness on display HERE!

Spanked callgirls

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